Well, it took me awhile, but I figured it out. I have a direction to head with my life. See? That's why this post is called "Finally."
I am going to head in the direction of the restaurant industry. I would love to own my own restaurant, but I'm gonna try some things with Outback and see where it takes me. I don't want to go to culinary school or anything because gay men have no business being in the kitchen (yes, I just generalized and stereotyped myself). I want to deal mostly with the front of house (the dining room/bar/lounge) and really focus on providing a laid back but fun atmosphere while developing a great staff.
Other options that probably won't happen but could be amazing are: being a restaurant critic for a large newspaper, having my own travel show, running the front of house for some amazing chef that's really well known in some large city like Seattle, and marrying someone rich so I can just do whatever.
Short post, but there you go.